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[greatlightother]

[It sounds as if she's just finished crying. There's a clink as she drops a spoon onto a dish and she finally speaks up.]

I said...I hope it goes down. [There's a nervous giggle.] But I don't know where down is. [Pause as the ship rumbles a bit. She takes in a trembling breath.] Looks like I was right, though.

Who knew that I would have them back? Who knew it would work like this?

I looked out my door today and saw the Darkness. I didn't know that Light Sorceress could curse people like this. Because that's what it is, you realize. It's not a flood. It's not...anything the Admiral has done. Condemn him if you like. It's more futile than usual.

[She turns on the camera. Those mentioned in the post who could see the curse will be able to see the vortex around her, invading her room. Barge magic, yeah]

I almost destroyed Moscow last time this happened. Last time, it was unintentional. Last time, they could talk me down from it and I could be saved from their...alternative method. [A bitter laugh.] Death.

They said once you pick a side that you can't change to the other one. Light to Darkness...all of that. I don't see why. It's so much easier to hate like this, isn't it? When you've been pushed so far, when so many people have kicked you in the face, it's easy to fall.

That's what power is, isn't it, O'Brien? [She reaches forward to turn off the transmission before she starts crying again. Then pauses.]

Someone might want to check on Petronilla. [BECAUSE SHE'S NOT. That's all!]

Comments

Re: Spam

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

[Guilt overwhelmed her again and she made a soft noise, but didn't say anything. If she could exempt them, she would.]

Re: Spam

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Sveta. [He moved his hand up from her arm,] It rains on the righteous as it does the evil, unfortunately.

[He sighed carefully,] If you curse us all, we're part of that. I don't want you to feel guilty. Don't feel guilty for doing this to us and only us. Everyone here has potential to be different. That's the thing which keeps me going every morning. Everything that might be horrific and wrong with this place can be changed.

Why do you think I put so much effort into it, Sveta?

Re: Spam

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

[She moved away from him, shaking her head. By this point, she had almost completely shut down on him.]

I don't know.

Re: Spam

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

[He withdrew his hand, trying not to feel a little put out that she'd moved away,]

Sveta, please. Talk to me, don't do this.

Re: Spam

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

No. I'm tired of talking. [She stared at the floor.] It's not going to change anything.

Re: Spam

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

[He sighed, as he knew he had to keep trying.]

Sveta. Let me tell you... my inmate hates this place. I hate it sometimes. But she has found good here, I know it, she has found it where I nearly lost mine.

It might all be horrific and so many people must be stupid, but we can stand up for what is really right. We can stand up and say that killing you is wrong. For a start.

Re: Spam

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

Is it? [She closed her eyes tightly, willing it all away.]

Is it wrong?

Re: Spam

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

It is wrong.

[He paused,]

The people who killed me the first time thought they were doing it for the good of two hundred people. They still committed murder in doing so. No matter how many people they thought they were helping.

Re: Spam

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

But you wouldn't come back.

[Small voice.] I will.

Re: Spam

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

[Pause, shake of the head, even though he slightly realised this was a step up from what she'd told Angelica,]

That doesn't change the value of death, Sveta. As soon as you let it do that, you stop caring about murders on board. You start treating life as something very cheap.

Your life isn't cheap. To me, it has no price.

Re: Spam

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

It doesn't matter. The outcome is the same. It's always the same. [She sighed.]

Re: Spam

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

It does matter. It always matters, Sveta, and don't misunderstand that. The outcome doesn't matter. It is the act which is moral or immoral.

Re: Spam

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

I don't care. It doesn't matter! [She shook her head.] Stop. I just want a break. I just...I can't do this right now.

Re: Spam

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

[He sighed, realising that pushing it wasn't going to help.]

Okay. Let me make a cup of tea for you. I'll... I'll go, but I'm coming back. I love you, and I won't quit, and I won't let anyone kill you. Ever.

Re: Spam

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

[She nodded.] I'm going to go lie down. [She didn't care about the tea, but it was a nice gesture.]

Re: Spam

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

[He didn't move for a moment, and ran his hand through her hair,] Alright. Always remember, Sveta, I love you. God loves you.

I will always, always be here.

Re: Spam

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

[She had no more tears left, but she really did want to cry at those words. She didn't know about God, but Howie's love was something she knew.]

I know you will. [She returned to her bed and curled up on it, closing her eyes.]

Re: Spam

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

[He nodded and he went to make her a cup of tea, leaving it beside her bed, and he leant down to put a hand on her shoulder,] I'll be back.