I died to protect other people. I let myself be killed by my closest friend. The person that meant the world to me, because the universe needed it. Because the world was a better place with him and without me, and I had that on cosmic authority.
But I didn't have anyone asking to save me. I didn't have anyone struggling for my life because they cared for me. Even the woman I loved was ready to stand back and watch me die because it was what needed to happen.
I would give anything for an ounce of what you have. The rest of this boat be damned. It's a test? Everything is a test. "Fair" isn't a word Nietzscheans are taught because life isn't. And I'm jealous of you. I'm so incredibly jealous of you.
That's the part you're going to regret. Not pretending you were superior to protect yourself. Not blaming everyone for all the ills, because we are all to blame in the end. That you forgot about them and they weren't enough.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2011-07-10 07:20 pm (UTC)But I didn't have anyone asking to save me. I didn't have anyone struggling for my life because they cared for me. Even the woman I loved was ready to stand back and watch me die because it was what needed to happen.
I would give anything for an ounce of what you have. The rest of this boat be damned. It's a test? Everything is a test. "Fair" isn't a word Nietzscheans are taught because life isn't. And I'm jealous of you. I'm so incredibly jealous of you.
That's the part you're going to regret. Not pretending you were superior to protect yourself. Not blaming everyone for all the ills, because we are all to blame in the end. That you forgot about them and they weren't enough.