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[greatlightother]

[It sounds as if she's just finished crying. There's a clink as she drops a spoon onto a dish and she finally speaks up.]

I said...I hope it goes down. [There's a nervous giggle.] But I don't know where down is. [Pause as the ship rumbles a bit. She takes in a trembling breath.] Looks like I was right, though.

Who knew that I would have them back? Who knew it would work like this?

I looked out my door today and saw the Darkness. I didn't know that Light Sorceress could curse people like this. Because that's what it is, you realize. It's not a flood. It's not...anything the Admiral has done. Condemn him if you like. It's more futile than usual.

[She turns on the camera. Those mentioned in the post who could see the curse will be able to see the vortex around her, invading her room. Barge magic, yeah]

I almost destroyed Moscow last time this happened. Last time, it was unintentional. Last time, they could talk me down from it and I could be saved from their...alternative method. [A bitter laugh.] Death.

They said once you pick a side that you can't change to the other one. Light to Darkness...all of that. I don't see why. It's so much easier to hate like this, isn't it? When you've been pushed so far, when so many people have kicked you in the face, it's easy to fall.

That's what power is, isn't it, O'Brien? [She reaches forward to turn off the transmission before she starts crying again. Then pauses.]

Someone might want to check on Petronilla. [BECAUSE SHE'S NOT. That's all!]

Comments

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

I cursed only myself last time.

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

And it was unintentional, just like now.

Your emotional displays contradict your claims. You don't hate us, you don't want us to die-- you're distraught, anguished. Crying. These bouts of self-loathing I've observed make you a good person, better than many would be in your position. You care.

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

If I didn't hate you, there would be no curse.

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

You don't hate everyone, you said so yourself. What hate you do possess, doesn't make you malicious or murderous enough to genuinely want this.

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

You don't know that. You don't know anything about me.

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

I can see what you've said here. Instead of deriving what I say from emotion, it's facts. Undeniable, solid facts.

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

I don't care. Just...go away.

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

You care. It's why I haven't put a bullet in your head. I've never seen someone care about the anguish they're inflicting on others quite so much.

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

[Long pause.]

I can't...I won't...stop.

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

You can and you will. You need to succeed. For yourself, as well as those you care about, and the innocents on board.

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

I know that. I know! [A few seconds of trembled sniffling. She's trying not to cry.]

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

If you know, do it. Stop the curse. You can overcome this.

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

No!

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

Yes. You know who you're doing this for. Their importance is beyond that of any hate.

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

I can't...

Stop asking it. I CAN'T.

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't ask if I didn't believe you could.

Try.

[greatlightother.livejournal.com]

Just go away.

[And she won't reply again right now.]

[puzzleprince.livejournal.com]

For your sake, I'll be persistent.

Try.