greatlightother | -107- [Voice]

[You get treated to some Beatles again today, friends. Only in the background, though. It's that kind of day.] For once, I don't actually have anything to say about that. Well, that hasn't already been said. It was awful and terrifying enough the first time that something like this came along and I really didn't want to repeat it. I couldn't even bring myself to fake it.

Or fight against it.

So if anyone was looking for myself or Petronilla, we were both fine. And unaffected.

Also, I hate asking the Admiral of anything so trivial, so...if you happen to keep any extra lamps or candles around, can I make use of them?

Not you, Doctor. I have enough of your lamps. I don't want to take any more.

[Friends Filter - This is a pretty open list at the moment...]

It's terrible timing but...today is a relatively mild day for me. Which...actually might be good. I'm the worst about wanting distractions more often than not, but if you need something now, I can do it. A drink. A swim. Coffee. Tea. Something. I know that...whatever it was...has to be hard.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I have anxiety attacks. I used to have medication, but I was addicted, so I stopped taking them completely. Thing is, they didn't go away.. the attacks. I talked to Grayson and Jones about it a couple, few months back, but they didn't listen and tried to put me on anti-depressants instead.

I need something. Too much.. shit has happened and I can't handle it right now, but I know my warden will just insist on the same unhelpful bullshit that Jones recommended. I was hoping maybe you could help me.

..Oh, sorry. I'm Bill. Costigan.

I've been here for long enough to know you. I'm actually surprised we've never spoken before. Neil and Donny both talked about you.

I can't give you what you're addicted to. But I understand being in a place where you think you can't handle what's going on. Believe me. Besides the anti-depressants, what else did Martha and your warden tell you? Just so that I know what's been tried?

..Donowitz and I were like brothers. He told me a lot about you, but I wasn't sure how you felt about him in the end.. or how you feel about him now.

They suggested alternate methods of coping, which help in general but don't do shit for the attacks. They gave me an alternative to the Lorazepam I was on for a little while, but I told them I didn't want it with.. someone close to me leaving. It's not bad, whatever it was, but they required the anti-depressants with it that don't do shit except make it harder to focus and make me fatigued.

Nothing changed.

Medicines like that are unfamiliar to me. I don't really give them out, but I know that they can require years before a right dose is actually found.

So what is it that you're asking me for?

Nothing changed for him either. You should know that, if you don't.

Meds. Pills. Something to help me.

Yes, I know. I don't want to talk about Donny.

You already know what I'm going to tell you, don't you? I can't give you anything like that in good conscience. But I do want to help you.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, I get it. Then how are you planning to help me?

Edited 2011-08-24 02:00 (UTC)

Let me do a little research, alright? Your records in the infirmary...do they contain all of this information that you told me?

They should, if Jones documented it.

Look, if you can't me, that's alright. I accept that. I can't let Jones or Grayson onto it, alright? I know how suspicious that sounds. Normally I wouldn't have even tried, but, like I said, Howie and Donowitz both trusted you.

I might not help you, but I'm going to try. And I will keep this to myself. Don't worry.

It's for the same reason. Neil and Donny trusted you. It had to be for a reason.

Thank you. I'm sorry to ask you for this.

Please, don't apologize. I'm glad that you came to me with this.

I'll let you know what I find out, okay?

Sure, yeah. Thanks.

-107- [Voice]

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