greatlightother

[Friends Filter- minus Angelica. Honestly, if you think you're here, you are. If you're not sure, ask.]

I need a distr- change. Just something small. Something that maybe no one but me will ever notice, even. I'm going to paint my room and, I suppose I could just ask the Admiral to do it for me, but no. I want to do this without his interference.

I'd like it if anyone would be willing to help, though!

[Infirmary Filter]

Does anyone have any experience with pseudocyesis? [She is just stubbornly hoping she's right.]

[Private to Petronilla]

I need your help tomorrow morning. It won't take long, I promise.

[Spam for Angelica]

[Sveta had been worried for Angelica. But, unfortunately, by the time she was able to get to what Iago had said, it had already been taken down and Sveta could do nothing more than hope the aftermath wasn't as ugly as she anticipated.

...it seemed that hope had been completely dashed. So, as soon as she had a spare moment, she rushed off to find her friend, knocking at the door rather apprehensively.] Angelica. It's Sveta...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Because I'm being forced to fight for something I don't really believe in. They call it a choice, but it's no choice at all.

They just want to use me.

What would it be for?

To restore balance to the Light and Darkness. Or rather, to keep the Darkness from winning out.

But they've let the Darkness get too powerful. They have so many rules, so many unfair rules, that they can't really see what's good anymore.

Laws are always there for a reason, and immutable.

But they're not the same in every universe.

No, but Laws are laws.

Not if I go somewhere else. Where those laws don't exist. Where I don't have to worry about the balance. And the Truce. Where I can just do what is right, regardless of anything else.

But as long as you still have those powers, the Laws are with you.

Being a normal human means giving up those powers, Ardent.

I know that.

...but that's what you are. How can you surrender that?

Because I've only had them for six months, Ardent. I don't count time here because I've been stripped of most of them. But that six months was so confusing. And terrible. And I made friends, yes. But...

I don't know.

I don't want it.

...But six months is hardly any time to even consider the good sides of it.

After nearly destroying all of Moscow...I think I can have the choice to get rid of them.

But to deny a part of your identity, Svet...

Wait, how did you nearly destroy a city?

An accidental curse. It was a bit like what you did, I suppose. Only it was on myself. And it was so powerful that it wasn't just going to kill me. It was going to kill everyone in the city.

How did that become nearly, then?

Anton talked me out of it before they could kill me. I didn't know I had even made the curse. So he had to stop me blaming myself.

Made you stop believing in the curse.

I suppose so. They said that I took the curse off when I stopped hating myself for what happened.

But you see, Ardent? I could have killed so many people. Without even thinking about it. Without even knowing it.